WHY PORNOGRAPHY IN MARRIAGE WILL ALWAYS BE DISSATISFYING?
Valerie L. Harvey
English 122
June 15, 2009
Prof. Christine Hilger
Is pornography really bad for marriages? People say that
pornography helps put them in the mood, but others say it is more harmful than good. More men seem to be drawn into this disturbing
activity and getting their wives to participate and experiment during
their intimate moments. Instead of improving our intimate lifestyle
with our spouse, it only hinders it. It leaves the woman with a poor
self-esteem, it ruins the special relationship between the man and his
wife, and it leaves the man wanting more and possibly leading him down
a perverse lifestyle.
At first, women participate in this practice because they want to
please their husband. But after awhile, she starts to feel "ugly,
inadequate, and unwanted by having to compete with a young, beautiful
actress"(Beam). She starts to resent the women in the magazine or
video as her body is starting to age. She starts to think that she
will never be able to please her husband again. The more the woman
begins to resent the stars in the magazine or video, the more the man
and woman begin to pull away from each other.
As the couple begin to grow apart from each other intimately, the
relationship starts to suffer. The woman feels used and the man is
left to feel frustrated that he is the only one pleased with the
performance. The couple begin to feel loneliness and alienation and
begin to feel that they cannot meet each other's needs. This causes a
silent agony in women and these acts depicted are stressful to them
(Farrell, Conway). Women, feeling used, begin to distrust their mate,
thinking that they will be unfaithful in their marriage.
The more men continue to depend on pornography to bring excitement
into the marriage, the more they are guaranteeing their own
dissatifaction. Because men are easily aroused by visual images, they
are never satisfied. Because they are easy targets for these images,
this leads men to seek sexual gratification that may turn to a darker
side--sexual violence. These unmet expectations may lead to withdrawal
from real sex into fantasy and masturbation (Farrell, Conway).
If the couple have children, they could stumble upon the father's
stash of magazines, or worse, log onto the family computer and see
these images on their father's files or websites. What is a problem
for the father, could suddenly be a problem for the child. If the
child does happen come across the stash or computer files, the child
could find themselves becoming involved with pornography, starting the
circle all over again.
Pornography in marriage will eventually lead to dissatisfaction
for the viewer. If the man can convince his wife to engage in this
type of gratification, it will only lead to a low self-esteem for the
woman and mistrust her husband. The husband may feel gratification in
the beginning, but will soon start feeling frustration at himself and
his wife for not wanting to participate in these activities. When
this frustration does hit, it may lead to more perverse activities,
like sexual violence. So pornography in marriage will only lead to
dissatisfaction.
Cited Page
Beam, Jim; Pornography in Marriage, 2009, www.familydynamics.net, Marriage Missions International, Retrieved: June 11, 2009.
Wright, Cindy; 2009, The Dangers and Disappointments of Pornography, Marriage Missions International, Retrieved: June 11, 2009.
Farrell, Bill and Pam and Conway, Jim and Sally; How Pornography Hurts Intimacy in a Marriage, Pure Pleasure (Making Your Marriage a Great Affair, 2009, www.farrelcommunications.com, Marriage Missions International, Retrieved: June 11, 2009.
Wilson, Meg, When Sexual Addiction Invades Your Marriage, Hope After Betrayal, 2009, Kregel Publications, Marriage Missions International, Retrieval: June 11, 2009.
Valerie L. Harvey
English 122
June 15, 2009
Prof. Christine Hilger
Is pornography really bad for marriages? People say that
pornography helps put them in the mood, but others say it is more harmful than good. More men seem to be drawn into this disturbing
activity and getting their wives to participate and experiment during
their intimate moments. Instead of improving our intimate lifestyle
with our spouse, it only hinders it. It leaves the woman with a poor
self-esteem, it ruins the special relationship between the man and his
wife, and it leaves the man wanting more and possibly leading him down
a perverse lifestyle.
At first, women participate in this practice because they want to
please their husband. But after awhile, she starts to feel "ugly,
inadequate, and unwanted by having to compete with a young, beautiful
actress"(Beam). She starts to resent the women in the magazine or
video as her body is starting to age. She starts to think that she
will never be able to please her husband again. The more the woman
begins to resent the stars in the magazine or video, the more the man
and woman begin to pull away from each other.
As the couple begin to grow apart from each other intimately, the
relationship starts to suffer. The woman feels used and the man is
left to feel frustrated that he is the only one pleased with the
performance. The couple begin to feel loneliness and alienation and
begin to feel that they cannot meet each other's needs. This causes a
silent agony in women and these acts depicted are stressful to them
(Farrell, Conway). Women, feeling used, begin to distrust their mate,
thinking that they will be unfaithful in their marriage.
The more men continue to depend on pornography to bring excitement
into the marriage, the more they are guaranteeing their own
dissatifaction. Because men are easily aroused by visual images, they
are never satisfied. Because they are easy targets for these images,
this leads men to seek sexual gratification that may turn to a darker
side--sexual violence. These unmet expectations may lead to withdrawal
from real sex into fantasy and masturbation (Farrell, Conway).
If the couple have children, they could stumble upon the father's
stash of magazines, or worse, log onto the family computer and see
these images on their father's files or websites. What is a problem
for the father, could suddenly be a problem for the child. If the
child does happen come across the stash or computer files, the child
could find themselves becoming involved with pornography, starting the
circle all over again.
Pornography in marriage will eventually lead to dissatisfaction
for the viewer. If the man can convince his wife to engage in this
type of gratification, it will only lead to a low self-esteem for the
woman and mistrust her husband. The husband may feel gratification in
the beginning, but will soon start feeling frustration at himself and
his wife for not wanting to participate in these activities. When
this frustration does hit, it may lead to more perverse activities,
like sexual violence. So pornography in marriage will only lead to
dissatisfaction.
Cited Page
Beam, Jim; Pornography in Marriage, 2009, www.familydynamics.net, Marriage Missions International, Retrieved: June 11, 2009.
Wright, Cindy; 2009, The Dangers and Disappointments of Pornography, Marriage Missions International, Retrieved: June 11, 2009.
Farrell, Bill and Pam and Conway, Jim and Sally; How Pornography Hurts Intimacy in a Marriage, Pure Pleasure (Making Your Marriage a Great Affair, 2009, www.farrelcommunications.com, Marriage Missions International, Retrieved: June 11, 2009.
Wilson, Meg, When Sexual Addiction Invades Your Marriage, Hope After Betrayal, 2009, Kregel Publications, Marriage Missions International, Retrieval: June 11, 2009.
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